6. Yell at someone other than your kids – and not feel guilty.
Honestly, as a modern woman trying to juggle the running of our homes, possibly a job, and the future Olympic soccer aspirations of our children, you have the primal need to yell. At someone. Anyone. Often our spouse and children suffer from this need of ours to release pent up negative energy generated from nothing more than some miniature human leaving smelly gym shoes on the kitchen table. (Ok, that probably deserves a bit of yelling – we eat at this table!) But when you remodel your house, you have a whole cast of characters – and believe me, they’re characters – that often deserve a good scream from time to time. Like when they tell you that they tore out the fireplace because they didn’t think it looked right. Or when they show you a mistake made three weeks ago that now requires half the house to be torn down in order to fix. Yelling isn’t immature or a result of too much estrogen, it’s therapy.
7. Throw out (finally) your significant other’s treasured [fill in the blank] from his bachelor days.
You know what I mean. It could be the semi-nude poster he won’t get rid of. Or his collection of exotic beer cans. Or all of his Sports Illustrated magazines since the Chicago Bears last won the Superbowl. Now is the perfect time to get rid of it. If you need to move out of your house while the remodeling is done, or you are moving to a new home, such an opportune time may never occur again. Say it won’t fit in the rental house. It’s either this or his golf clubs. Gently remind him that the sentimental item really serves as a reminder of his advancing years. Anything. Get rid of it. It will be one positive you can remind yourself of when the stress of remodeling makes you feel that this project was the biggest mistake of your life.
8. Grow closer to your family through forced bathroom sharing.
The saying goes that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Perhaps that wise pundit had to share a closet sized bathroom with three kids and a spouse. In reality, there’s no greater way to create intimacy in a family than by all trying to get ready for the morning in the same 7’x 5’ space. You’ll learn new exciting things about your children – like toilet paper is purely optional for little boys. You’ll discover that there is no bond quite like the one created when the entire family brushes their teeth together over the same sink. You’ll realize why the older generation of your relatives only washed their hair once a week instead of facing communal bathroom time. But most importantly, you’ll no longer need to yell at your kids to hurry up for school – they’re standing right next to you.
9. Earn free flights from all of your purchases.
In what is admittedly (and somewhat sheepishly) the only practical survival tip on this list, get an airline mileage credit card. Charge everything on it – lights, plumbing fixtures, windows, doors, lumber, carpet. The windows alone can get you close to one free trip. Whether you decide to share your miles with anyone else in the family or to escape on your own to a world of quiet solitude and, preferably, an open bar, is entirely up to you.
10. Hire some good looking contractors and feel like you’re 15 years old again.
Hey, guys get a whole chain of restaurants and bars where the main attraction is busty waitresses in tight t-shirts (Hooters). Why can’t us gals have some eye candy once in a while? Besides, it’s a productivity tool. You’ll be more likely to inspect the job or meet the architect if some young, fit, good-looking men are there – especially in the summer months when shirts tend to become optional. For example, we once hired a roofing crew of male model wannabees for a house we built. My husband called them the “Beefcake Roofers.” They created quite a stir in the neighborhood that summer. Let me tell you, it made rushing to stop by the house to go over notes with the trades first thing in the morning a bit more interesting … and much more fun!
Finally, remember, the end result of your new house will be worth the aggravation of the process. Plus, think of all the good stories you can tell! (myhomeredux.com/)
